These Phrases given by My Parent That Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was simply trying to survive for a year."

One-time Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey expected to manage the difficulties of being a father.

However the actual experience soon turned out to be "very different" to his expectations.

Severe health problems during the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into acting as her primary caregiver as well as looking after their infant son Leo.

"I took on each nighttime feed, every change… every walk. The job of mother and father," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he became exhausted. That was when a conversation with his parent, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he needed help.

The straightforward words "You are not in a healthy space. You must get some help. How can I assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and regain his footing.

His experience is far from unique, but rarely discussed. While the public is now more accustomed to addressing the pressure on mothers and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties new fathers go through.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his difficulties are linked to a larger failure to talk among men, who continue to absorb damaging notions of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and stays upright time and again."

"It is not a sign of weakness to request help. I was too slow to do that soon enough," he adds.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health before and after childbirth, says men often don't want to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - most notably in front of a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental health is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's chat with his dad provided him with the opportunity to ask for a break - taking a few days abroad, away from the home environment, to gain perspective.

He realised he required a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's emotional states alongside the practical tasks of taking care of a new baby.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she longed for" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has changed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The notion of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen was without reliable male parenting. Despite having an "incredible" connection with his dad, deep-held trauma resulted in his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their bond.

Stephen says repressing emotions caused him to make "terrible actions" when younger to change how he felt, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as a way out from the hurt.

"You find your way to things that are harmful," he notes. "They might temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Getting By as a New Father

• Share with someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, tell a trusted person, your spouse or a professional how you're feeling. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the activities that made you feel like the person you were before the baby arrived. It could be going for a run, socialising or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical stuff - a good diet, physical activity and where possible, resting, all are important in how your mind is faring.
• Meet other new dads - listening to their journeys, the challenges, and also the joys, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that requesting help isn't failing - looking after your own well-being is the most effective way you can care for your family.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's resolved not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead give the safety and nurturing he lacked.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - managing the frustrations constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they acknowledged their struggles, changed how they express themselves, and figured out how to control themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… processing things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I said, at times I feel like my role is to teach and advise you how to behave, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning as much as you are through this experience."